Learning to say 'No'

Adam Gordon is studying for a DFA in Creative Writing. His doctoral work explores queer histories of Glasgow, and the effect of contemporary theories of ecology on the form and structure of the novel. He is the current Researcher Development PGR Communications Intern.

There just aren’t enough hours in the day.

All PGRs feel like that sometimes.

But we also like to take on extra work. Maybe because being busy feels like being productive. Maybe because something piques our interest or would look good on a CV: a conference paper, say, or an article. We take on overtime because we want to help or need the cash. We take responsibility for something because no one else will, or we’re afraid someone else won’t do it properly.

Then we’re exhausted and feeling like there aren’t enough hours in the day. Often, we default to thinking that it’s our problem for not being able to work indefinitely, rather than recognising that there aren’t, in fact, enough hours in the day and we’re trying to do too much.

I am very guilty of this. Recently, I took on an extra project at work. I realised within a couple of weeks that I had overcommitted. I was stressed to the max about lack of time, panicking about letting people down, freaking out about my neglected thesis.

This is not a new problem. I used to work in a theatre company, and we made, toured and managed our own shows. It was an incredibly high-stress environment, but we ‘got on with it’ because it was important to us. We had deadlines and contracts to adhere to, we’d sold tickets to audiences who were waiting, we cared about our work. We never, ever missed a show or a deadline, never turned down an opportunity to perform, teach, promote… And we ended up burning out. ‘Getting on with it’ resulted in us quitting our jobs and needing mental health support.

This time around, when I realised I had massively overcommitted, I knew that I could probably plough on, do an ok job, and get the project done. In the meantime, I would be an anxious, insomniac mess, a nightmare to live with, and dissatisfied with the quality of all my work and research.

For the first time, I grasped the nettle before things got out of hand: I sent an email to the people involved explaining the situation and indicating that I wanted to step down. And though I felt relief about having done something proactive, I also felt sick about what was going to happen afterward.

What did happen? Nothing.

My colleagues were supportive, everyone understood the situation, and we moved on. I did a few things to make sure I hadn’t left a mess behind me and got on with the rest of my work. There’s no question that I let folks down (though I should stress that no one made me feel like this) and I struggled with that. I had to accept that it’s not possible to live life and not let someone down from time to time. We make mistakes, and that’s ok. I didn’t make the ideal choice, but I made the right one. For me but also for the project: work we do when we’re strung out is not good work.

It is so easy to feel compelled to say yes to every opportunity your work or research offers, but it is vitally important to cultivate honesty. Why would this be a good idea? Why would it be a bad idea? And do I have the time, the energy, and the commitment? I had very good reasons for taking on extra work, but I wasn’t being truthful with myself about my existing workload.

What’s the best way to cultivate this kind of honesty? Systems are really helpful. If you take the time to plan your time, then it’s easy to see where you’re at. This This PhD Life talk from former PGR Intern Charlie Rex is a great set of tips for time and task management. Things like Gantt charts, or Bullet Journalling can be very useful in keeping on top of your workload. Some folks like to use free websites like Trello; I prefer paper and pen. It’s about what works for you. Spend five or ten minutes every day tidying up your planner and I promise you will reap big organisational rewards.

Good systems help you make good decisions. If you’re asked to do something else, or have a shiny new idea that re-energises you, you can make a proper judgement on your capacity. If you want to change your priorities to make room for the new thing then you absolutely can - but you can also set appropriate boundaries with your work. Short-term tasks with concrete outcomes are sublimely attractive when you’re in the middle of a years-long research project that often feels vague or out of your control, but they may not be the best use of your energy. It’s also vital to remember that domestic tasks and (most importantly!) rest are important parts of your schedule, not things to be squeezed in if you have five minutes. There will always be periods when you’re up against a deadline and you have to work a little harder, but it should balance out over time.

On a final note, I was discussing this subject with a colleague and they made a really important point. Above, I wrote that I could probably have pushed myself and ‘got on with’ the extra work, albeit at a cost to myself and my family. But what if you’re a researcher with a health condition, a disability, or caring responsibilities that mean you really can’t ‘get on with it’? What happens if you don’t have the privilege of extra time or energy to channel into work? My colleague pointed out that refusing to glamourise overwork and not taking on too much is also an act of solidarity with folks that don’t have that extra capacity, for whatever reason. We need to keep all our expectations within the bounds of what is reasonable and possible in the circumstances.

I hope this has given some food for thought. For more on how work intersects with health and disability, you might check out this previous post from Karen Gordon-Tamang on studying with chronic fatigue, or this post from the University of Sheffield’s Researcher Development blog on managing a research career with an invisible condition.

I’m also keen to hear what systems or software people use to manage their time and their research, as this is something I have always found tricky, so let us know in the comments or on Twitter @UofGPGRs. And as we cruise into the weekend, I hope you make time to get some good rest!

Cover image by Volodymyr Hryshchenko on Unsplash.